Perfection: A Scary Word

Have you ever had an argument end a friendship? Or have you ever said things to someone you wish you could take back? Whether you have been wronged or you have wronged someone, reconciliation can be a very difficult and complicated thing. But, if you’re in Christ, you are empowered by the Holy Spirit to walk the path to true reconciliation.

If you’ve wronged someone, asking for forgiveness is an important step in bringing healing to the person you harmed and to yourself. To look someone in the eye and admit you did something wrong, whether it was intentional or not, helps you grow—and brings Jesus into the situation because He is the One who makes forgiveness possible for both of you.

When you are not able to talk in person with someone you’ve wronged, take the time to pray and seek wise counsel from other Christians about the best way to ask for forgiveness in your situation. That way, you can know you have done everything you can to make amends.

In Christ, you can be brave enough to admit when you are wrong—praying for full restoration, even if you don’t see it until you see Jesus face-to-face. He is with you no matter how the conversation goes (Matthew 28:20).

If you’ve been wronged, even if the other person doesn’t apologize, forgive them anyway. Holding grudges against someone not only destroys hope of the relationship being rekindled, but it also makes you feel even worse. Forgiving them frees you from wanting to keep track of their wrongs so that you can find a way to exact justice. Forgiveness flows out of Jesus’ forgiveness of you. Bring your hurt before God, trusting Him to bring justice (Romans 12:19; 1 Peter 2:23-25).

Forgiveness may be a process, and it doesn’t mean restored trust, especially in a dangerous situation, so reach out to trusted people—including any relevant authorities—who can walk with you in your situation. Through it all, Jesus will be with you (Matthew 28:20). You are not alone. • Alexis Wohler

• Who have you wronged? Have you asked them for forgiveness?

• Who has wronged you? Have you sought to forgive them?

• Read Matthew 28:20 and Romans 12:19. What promises can you cling to during a difficult conversation?

• Who are trusted Christian adults in your life—such as pastors, counselors, or parents—who can help you figure out the way to approach tough conversations?

• If you need someone to talk to, you can set up an appointment for a one-time complimentary phone consultation with a Christian counselor through the Focus on the Family Counseling Service. In the United States, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Mountain Time) to set up an appointment. In Canada, book your appointment by calling 1-800-661-9800 between 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. (Pacific Time) and ask to speak with the care associate.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

Read Verses:

Romans 4:5; Philippians 3:2-14