The List

READ: ROMANS 8; 1 PETER 2:9-10

My hands shook with my effort not to take The List out of my pocket. You can’t control me, I whispered through gritted teeth. I just wanted to walk into this building full of, I imagined, lovely people and be okay. Two steps from the door, my fingers curled around The List. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut as I felt myself unfold the paper. There, scrawled across the top was the word condemned. I jammed the paper into my pocket, turned around, and walked away.

The following day, I was looking forward to the moment that could change the trajectory of my future. I had prepared myself and worked hard. I sat in a chair, waiting for them to call my name. Instead, I felt the call of The List. I gripped the seat tight, willing myself not to listen. Once again, I opened it to see the next word penned below the first: rejected. I made my way down the hall, away from possibility, not even turning back when I heard them call my name.

Looking in the mirror that night, I thought I glimpsed a spark of new. Was it in my eyes? Could I be the person I wanted to be? Did the corners of my mouth turn up slightly more than usual? I felt a strange twitch on my lips, a desire to smile. But the desire fled when I watched my hand draw out The List once more. I don’t know why I had this compulsion to read it when I already knew by heart what I would see: stagnant.

I sank to the floor, overcome by defeat and sorrow. The List lay beside me, mocking—wait! The words that I had read so many times were crossed out with bold, red slashes. I gripped The List and felt my heart leap as I read new words written over the old. Instead of condemned I read approved, in place of rejected was chosen, over stagnant was alive.

Finally, I understood. The List would no longer control me with its lies. I could live in the freedom of who I was always meant to be, and no one could take it away. • Savannah Coleman

• Like The List in today’s allegorical story, we all have voices in our heads, but what God says about us should trump anything our minds or other people say. When you become a follower of Christ, you are given a new identity. He takes all the sin and shame. By the blood of Jesus shed for you, you are no longer condemned, but forgiven (Romans 8:1; 1 John 2:12). You are no longer rejected, but a chosen, fully loved child of God (Romans 8:15; 1 Peter 2:9; 1 John 3:1). What are some practical ways you could spend time listening to what God says about you this week? Remember, we hear God’s voice through His Word, His people, and His Spirit. (If you’ve never put your trust in Jesus and want to know more, see our "Know Jesus" page.)

• Satan likes to try to remind us of who we were before we met Jesus. He accuses and causes worries, fears, and anxiety to fill our minds. And even if Satan is not directly responsible for the voices in our heads, he is a primary source of them. The other source is the law, or God’s commands, which God gave us to show us our need for Jesus. Yet, Satan uses the law to accuse us. The law’s accusatory nature should lead us to Christ, but it often becomes the means by which we are continually enslaved by fear and anxiety. But the truth is this: in Christ, we are new creations—everything that was old has been transformed (2 Corinthians 5:17, 21). Although we will still struggle with sin and negative thoughts, we now have the power of God to choose righteousness and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). We can choose to set our minds on things above by fixing our thoughts on Jesus (Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:2; Hebrews 12:2). What kinds of accusing voices have been bothering you? Consider writing down these accusations, and bring them to Jesus in prayer. Then write down a couple verses that contradict these lies. Keep these verses close by so you can ponder them often and redirect your thoughts to Jesus. You can always ask Him to help you see the truth.

• Throughout our lives, we may need help to untangle the lies we’ve been believing about ourselves and discover the truth. Who are trusted Christians in your life you’d feel comfortable talking to about this, such as parents, pastors, youth leaders, or counselors? If you need someone to talk to, you can request a free conversation with Focus on the Family’s Counseling Department by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays from 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Mountain Time). Please be prepared to leave your contact information for a counselor to return a call to you as soon as possible. In Canada, book your appointment by calling 1-800-661-9800 between 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. (Pacific Time) and ask to speak with the care associate.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 (NIV)